Waiting for the Twitterpocalypse

You always figured there was something hinky about Twitter. Now it’s been confirmed. From the science fiction news and reviews site, Grasping for the Wind, comes an irresistibly named article: “6 End Theories of Twitter.” And, if that august publication is to be believed, the end may well be nigh.

There are six competing theories, Grasping tells us, one of them sure to end the world. “Until that happy day,” they say, “we will have to simply forearm ourselves with knowledge of these theories, and grimly soldier on.”

Grasping describes the Twitterpocalypse as “a re-imagining of the popular (and much-hoped for) Christian End of Days.” Beyond that, they say, there are five other Twitter doomsday scenarios, most of the gist of them self-evident from their names: “Big Twitter Is Following You,” “The Tweetularity,” “Tweetlander,” “Peak Twitter,” and -- the most frightening of them all -- “The Tweetnarök,” which, Grasping warns, “will bring about the end of the world in a series of battles and disasters, all set to Wagner.”

I don’t know if we’re actually looking at the End of Tweets any time soon, but surely there must be a book in here somewhere?